Tackling male health in the workplace this Movember  

The global charity event Movember is upon us, aiming to raise awareness and funds for men’s health, specifically prostate cancer, testicular cancer, mental health and suicide. So if you’re a man, what can you do to look after yourself? And how can you best support your male colleagues? RDP International has delivered their CPD-accredited Built to last male wellbeing session to thousands. Founder Dr Roger Prentis shares some of the common experiences to have emerged, as well as practical and emotional steps to support better male health.  

The thousands of sessions that we have run on male wellbeing have highlighted that, while generalisations never apply to everyone, they do seem apply to many. Exploring some of the most common themes to emerge from these sessions can help you improve your own wellbeing, or help you support the men in your life. 

Poor intimate communicators 

Men seem to be more reticent to communicate their true, inner feelings to their friends and even partners, if they have one.  Of course, some are brilliant, but most struggle talking about ‘important things’.  Research has shown, for example, that around 30% of males would rather break up with their partner than talk about problems they are having with sex – with a partner or a medical professional. 

The saying, “Men don’t talk” is not true.  They do.  You just have to get them in the right environment, the right mood and with the right people and they are as good as anyone.  The challenge, therefore, is to create that environment.  Also, if you encourage them to talk, don’t criticise or belittle what they say – or, indeed, how they say it.  Research shows that many men are scared to speak about things for fear of possible repercussions or such disgraceful prejudice as the term ‘toxic masculinity’. 

The success of men’s groups (like Men’s Sheds and the Men’s Room) illustrates this well.  In a supportive, non-judgemental, ‘no pressure’ setting, men will open up.  It may take time, but, when they are comfortable, they will talk.  A good tip is to ‘chat’ whilst walking along shoulder-to-shoulder or whilst driving along sitting next to each other (or similarly).  That non-face-to-face approach seems to have most success. 

The challenge for us all, therefore, is to create that ‘safe space’ for our men – and all of us.  Normalising conversation is one of the most important parts of this.  We all find some things difficult to discuss – for some, it might be money, for others, anxiety or sex.  If we talk about things (as) openly (as possible), then it encourages our ‘important people’ to do the same.  It is like ‘giving permission’ to having the conversation – whatever it is about.  In a relationship (intimate or other), being safe and able to talk is critical.  Sometimes it takes one person to make the first move.  It may be difficult or embarrassing at first, but when the conversations flow that initial minor investment will pay off long-term. 

Start those conversations with your important people – normalise them. 

Less likely to seek help and support 

“I’m OK!” 

“I don’t want to bother anyone” 

“I have to support everyone else and can’t show weakness” 

“I have to be OK” 

We hear these and many more sentiments when we talk with the men who come along to our courses, and elsewhere.  There is still some pressure to conform to an alpha-male image in our society.  That pressure varies between business sectors (in construction, for example, it is more prevalent) and in different geographical areas of the country.  And, of course, some of that pressure comes from within men’s own heads, as shown by the comments above. 

Even if they know something might be ‘up’, males are less likely to seek help and support.  A woman on one of our courses recently told us that her husband flatly refuses to do his routine bowel cancer screening test.  She has tried everything from ‘there’s probably nothing, but it’s best to find out early if there is’ to ‘if you won’t do it for yourself, do it for the children and me’.  He will not budge. 

There are so many pressures on us all these days, that it is very important to make sure that we are OK and around for those important people in our lives – family, friends, colleagues.  For most of us, it is too difficult to deal with all this on our own, so have those conversations, do something about it. 

There is no need to suffer in silence.  We’re not talking about whingeing and complaining – this is common sense ‘looking after yourself’.  Think of the oxygen mask in the plane; if you don’t put yours on first, you won’t be around to support and help all those around you. 

Whether it is you or others around you, encourage people to seek the help and support they need. 

It shows strength to admit that you could benefit from getting help – it is no weakness! 

Know your normal 

We often tell the true story of the man who had bowel cancer.  One morning, whilst sitting on the loo, it all happened.  Let’s just say ‘the world fell out of his bottom’. 

He was rushed into hospital as an emergency and operated on immediately.  He went through months of chemotherapy and radiotherapy, not to mention losing around a third of his gut – leaving him with a stoma bag. 

When we asked him if he’d noticed anything before the ‘loo experience’, he said that he’d noticed some things – blood in his poo, losing weight for no apparent reason, and needing to poo more frequently than before. 

“Didn’t you get it checked up by the Doctor?” 

“No – it was a bit embarrassing, and I thought it would go away.” 

It didn’t go away – these things don’t.  If there’s something wrong – it will just get worse. 

The same is, of course, true for other problems such as prostate or testicular cancers. to name but a couple. 

Prostate cancer is the most common ‘male cancer’.  There are around 55,000 cases diagnosed per year and only 35% are found at Stage 1 (i.e. early, when the survival rate is almost 100%) and over 50% are found at Stage 3 and later (Cancer Research UK statistics).  At Stage 4, most prostate cancers are not curable; attempts can only be made to control their development. 

The moral of this story: if you notice a change in your ‘normal’, do something about it.  There’s probably nothing wrong, but, if there is, that something caught early will be far less of a problem, you will suffer far less pain, far less medical intervention and have a better prognosis (future prospects). 

It isn’t selfish to look after yourself.  Think of those around you.  The family, friends and colleagues of our bowel cancer man also shared his ‘hell’ (to put it bluntly!).  Sure he had a challenging time, but they also suffered the agony of potentially losing a father, partner, colleague, friend. 

Keep an eye on yourself.  Don’t go looking for stuff that isn’t there, but if you do notice a change in your normal, do something about it.  If not for you, for your important people. 

If you get a bowel cancer screening test given to you (through the post or from elsewhere), DO IT as soon as you can.  If you’re invited to do a ‘routine checkup’, go for it.  Finding out early can make all the difference to your family and friends, and, of course, YOU!! 

Know your normal and, if you notice any changes, do something about it.  Have those conversations with your important people (and remember, you might have to be the brave one that starts them off!). 

Whoever you are, if you notice a change in your ‘normal’, do something about it.  If not for you, for your ‘important people’. 

The bottom line … 

If you feel that you (or anyone around you) could benefit from some help and support, go get it! 

 

NB: We respect everyone’s identity and use the terms ‘male’, ‘men’, ‘women’, etc, with the intention that they are inclusive 

Capital Space is proud to supporter MenTalk Health – Sittingbourne